Thursday, April 26, 2012

Part Two

The next day I was miserable. I was trying to keep myself busy with organizing our new apartment but the pain kept getting more intense as every minute went by. I felt as though I should keep my emotions under control because we had house guests (nobody wants to see their sister-in-law freak out over pain!) I know that Valerie (Fernando's sister) wouldn't have cared, if anything she would have done all that she could to help, (I even remember her massaging my back to ease the pain) I wish I would have let her.

 I had promised to make dinner for everyone that night, I was wishing that I hadn't though! It took me two hours to cook and it was only chicken stir-fry! Every few minutes I would have to stop, try to breath, and try not to sit down because I wanted to get dinner done! It was such a relief when I finished, everyone sat down to eat while I jumped in a hot shower to try to ease the pain. My sister Elesha kept calling to see if I needed any help because she was concerned with me not getting any sleep due to the pain. She told me that it was best if I went to the hospital to at least get some sleeping pills, but I didn't want to drag Fernando to the hospital so late at night when I knew that he had work the next morning. Finally at 12 I woke Fernando up and told him I was leaving. Elesha was already on her way, and I would be back soon. He insisted on taking me but I convinced him to stay home and get some rest.

The drive to the hospital was hell. I cried every time we hit a speed bump or crossed over a railroad track (there were 3 along the way)! We finally arrived and the nurse, which happened to be the same rude one from the night before, informed us that my cervix had to be checked before they could give me some sleeping pills. I couldnt' believe that she was still there, I thought for sure that she would have been gone. I guess she didn't believe my cervix that Aleena was on her way, so she told me that in order to be admitted I had to walk for an hour to see if my contractions were moving along. I was filled with so many emotions when she told me that, once she left the room I started balling. I couldn't imagine myself even getting out of the bed, let alone walk for an hour. Well the walking lasted maybe 15 minutes before they had to come find me and tote me back in a wheelchair. Im pretty sure that convinced her.

Once we were back in the room, my entire family showed up, followed by Fernando. I remember keeping my eyes closed the majority of the time, just concentrating on breathing while everyone took turns massaging my back, arms and legs. It helped to soothe me, calm my nerves, and let me feel something other then my spine being ripped out! Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I needed drugs, lots of drugs, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think clearly, I was afraid. Afraid of the next contraction, afraid of the pain. The epidural was my decision and my family supported me 100%. Though it wasn't what I had planned, it was my new plan. The plan that would get me through the night, the next hour, the next contraction. I needed help and I was not afraid to ask for it! Fernando stayed in the room while they administered the epidural, he was nervous, I could tell, but he stayed strong for me, he made me feel safe. I love you Fernando with all of my heart! You were a trooper!

As a side note: I don't know how some mothers give birth naturally, I wasn't that strong, even though I planned on being strong. So to all of you natural birth, baby making machines out there, I salute you. For the pain relief mamas, I know how you feel, it truly does really hurt! I finally believe you!

( I know I said this would be a two post part, but I think that three would be better. It's a long and meaningful story and I don't want to leave anything out!)  

1 comment: