Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Seeking A New Path

The past 2 days have been sort of a blur to me so I apologize for not posting yesterday. My morning started off like usual and nothing seemed to be off point. Work was a drag like usual for a Tuesday and I was dreading to that my day was going to never end. I work at a credit union that is located in a deserted Safeway parking lot and have been employed there for the past 2 years. Well yesterday I became a victim of a robbery and have been stressed out ever since. It all happened so fast but still left a deep impression in my train of thought. The crazy thing about this all is that the previous night I had asked God to show me a sign that will lead me down the path that I am supposed to follow. I'm not sure what exactly being robed means, however all I know for now is that I am now on the search for a new job ASAP! Its sad because I love all of my co-workers deeply but if I plan on being a mother soon and pregnant then I need to put my safety first. The detective told me that the robber was only in the building for 42 seconds, but those 42 seconds will stay with me forever. I just have to learn to push that memory as far away from my thoughts and attention span as possible. Maybe I should take up cake decorating and leave the money business to everyone else. Thank God that no one was hurt yesterday.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Is There Ever a Right TIme?

I seems that every little detail becomes a ginormous task once you realize that that the decision you make concerns your baby. When I was younger, I had fun dreaming up what my baby girls name would be, nothing complicated about it. It was easy and simple and names like Crystal and Lola were very appealing to me. Hearing the names that I chose come from my favorite cartoon characters or from a pretty girl that I went to school with.  Now I cant imagine deciding on a name that will live on with my child for the rest of their life and maybe even being the reason why they would resent me.  Names, baby clothes to buy, brands to use and not to use, cloth or not when it comes to diapers, all these topics require deep thought and perfect decision making. Is there ever going to be a sign in front of me that says, "hurry, chose now, its time", or will I have to chance it and trust that I will chose right? Its a huge decision to make, and not knowing when to make the decision is driving me crazy. I hear about mothers who still didn't have a name picked out until almost a week after they gave birth. I don't want to be late but at the same time I don't want to be too quick for my babies own good. Am I the only one who is worried about this and am I just a weirdo in the crowd?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Patience is a Virtue

When first deciding that our next step was to have a baby, the thought was that it would happen right away. That is not how it works at all. This is one of the times when the saying, "patience is a virtue" comes into play and makes impatient people like me want to throw up. However, it seems to go along with Fernando's attitude perfectly which, I don't understand how he can be some calm ( i might need to tell me his secret in doing so). I don't want to make the experience an unpleasant one for him and be so serious all the time. I need to remember that we are together and we still need to have fun as a couple. With all the excitement that I have been feeling lately it has made me very impatient and a little stressed at the same time. Every article I read tells me that baby making needs to be kept fun and spontaneous, I believe to be doing the exact opposite in my situation. I need to find a way to relax and get a hold of myself once more. I know that being informed before having a baby is very important but reading up on too much information has made me a bit of a nut job. So I believe I will steer clear of any baby health issue articles for a while and stick to the decorating side of it all for a bit.

I'm moving along quite good with my chair project and am very impressed with my skills. After I complete my chair (which I have made it top priority to do so) I want to find a cute little dresser that I can redo and keep for our nursery. I want to be able to look at the dresser and know that I was able to make it exactly how I want it to be for our baby! Maybe I can ask Fernando to do the same for a rocker...or maybe I'll just have him buy me one!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

A Simple Saturaday

Waking up to no alarm clocks, no dog whimpering because he has to be let outside and not being elbowed in the face for once is a great start to my rare Saturday off. I feel like a new women,nothing at this point could go wrong. Oh but of course, I spoke too soon, my allergies kick in and the race for tissue begins. I cant complain, I know that today is going to be just what I needed to regain the energy lost from working long hours this past week and I plan to use this time very productively. Oh and to add to the perfect start of the day, it finally stopped raining and the sun is out for the first time in days (please weather, just let summer finally reach its full potential soon to that my pasty white skin can get some color)! I have taken up this new hobby of trying (emphasize on trying) to reupholster this chair that I bought from the local thrift store. I think that it has some potential to be my new desk chair or something to make a quick buck on So I think I'm going to make a pretty huge dent in finishing up this chair and hopefully be able to continue on with this new found hobby of mine. Let me just tell you though, I'm known for never fully finishing the crafty hobbies that I have started in the past. Maybe this chair wont have to join my half finished headboard underneath my bed that went terribly wrong a couple months ago.

On another note, breakfast is almost ready, beans and red chili smell amazing and I think its the perfect match to make this runny nose of mine go away for good. Let me just say that I'm a good cook and I make some pretty delicious meals (not trying to brag, I'm no Rachael Ray) but when it comes to breakfast I tend to leave that to Fernando. He can whip up some hearty home cooked meals that hit the right spot. There is never a disappointment in his breakfasts. I think we will leave dinner up to me though, if it was up to him we would be eating potatoes and ground beef every night! I have to make sure we don't have heart attacks at the age of 25! For now however, that sounds pretty good! 

Friday, May 20, 2011

A Natural Mom

I'm not completely sure but I bet that i'm not the only soon to be mommy out there that has baby fever. Now, when I go to any store, ( including hardware, shoe and grocery stores) I somehow find the baby section. I wont even be looking for it but the next thing I know is that I have either a fuzzy blanket, cute baby boy chuck taylors or some new advanced baby food gadget in my hands and added to my shopping list. I don't think anything of it, I just know that its my motherly instincts kicking in. Its funny to see Fernando's facial expressions concerning the unknown baby world that he has never really been apart of. Growing up for me was very different compared to his nuclear family type which, included his mom, dad and sister. I was always around a baby whether it was my little sister, nephews or niece starting around when I was 10. I have always loved being around little ones and things like changing diapers, burping after feedings or watching out for pee with little boys comes naturally to me. I think that I need to start early with Fernando in preparing him for a little one, and trying not to scare him away at the same time! I know he is going to be an amazing dad so all I have to do is help him to see that he will soon too be a natural Super Dad.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

And The Congratulations Begin

Knowing that I was soon going to become pregnant, I knew in the back of my mind that I would be receiving comments from complete strangers concerning my prego belly and my decided on baby plans. I was not prepared for the comments to start so soon with me not even having conceived yet. I was talking to my doctor over the phone a few days ago concerning which prenatal vitamins to take and what else I could be doing prior to becoming a baby oven turned out to be a very informative conversation. Much grateful lessons were taught to me in the short ten minute appointment and at the end when the goodbyes were about to begin I expected the typical, "have a great day" or, "thanks for calling, we'll here from you soon' turned into, "good luck with your decision and congratulations"! Even though I knew that this was bound to happen sooner or later I had no idea that I was going to be a natural and soak up all the attention towards my new spot in my heart solely designated for baby love! I caught myself booming with happiness and pride talking so openly about my pregnancy plans, even though it was only with my doctor. Even though I bet they talk to over a dozen pregnant women each day I still felt as though it was especially towards me only. I guess I must have been quite noticeable with my conversation that the lady next to me at the local Noodles and Company said, " I'm so sorry to ease drop but I just wanted to say congratulations and I wish you the best"! I was quick to thank her and then started to think, wouldn't this world be such a more pleasant place if everyone always talked about babies!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

To Breathe or Not to Breathe?

Many, like me, might have thought that planning to get pregnant would be a piece of cake. It turns out however, a mother instinct comes over you (even though you might not be a mom yet) and every little thing you do, eat, think about doing and did a week ago is scrutinized to the highest extent. So when I turned to google to learn more about the affects that my grocery cart size of medications would have on my soon to be baby, I was scared stiff. Who knew all the things that could cause your baby to have 11 toes, 3 ears and come out full grown? Its funny how before, you always pushed aside warnings that came from the evil search engines every other time but, when it comes to your future offspring you believe every single phrase you read no matter what crappy website its from. So that's what happened when I looked up my asthma preventative and found that its been found to cause early term pregnancies, neural tube defect along side with defects that I cant even pronounce. So freaked out by what I found I immediately stopped taking my daily dose. Within two days I was hooked on my inhaler and I felt like an addict. Desperate for an alternative I quickly turned to my doctor and found out I almost has an asthma attack for nothing! The one website that I found the information on turned out to be an overdose that scientists tested on mice. The dose was given through the blood, (not inhaled like mine which, doesn't reach the blood) and was ten times the human dosage. NOTHING TO DO WITH HUMANS WHAT SO EVER! Relieved by my new found glory, I was quick to decide that I better start breathing again!

One Step at a Time

Convincing my boyfriend that having a baby was the next step to take in our relationship wasn't as easy as I pictured in my head. Me being the type that doesn't think things through fully and him being the responsible one, I knew that we would butt heads on the subject at first. After days and days of trying to make him realize that it would be exciting and the idea of a baby in my belly would fill us up with so much joy we could explode, he still was 50-50 with my idea. But finally he came around and we are both excited to soon be having a new addition to our family. As a surprise I took Fernando (my boyfriend) to the store and had him pick out one item that he would want to get for our soon to be baby. I have to admit I was shocked when he handed me this gorgeous green and blue plush baby blanket. I could tell that we were on the same path towards parenthood!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Time To Upgrade

My daily routine has been a broken record for the past year and a half, going to school, work and coming home
with a migraine the size of my butt...on a good day was the daily tune of my melody. Doing homework about 3 hours a night and trying to squeeze some healthy meal planning time in there was hard enough, oh and did I forget that I have a family the size of a small village and on top of that my boyfriend. There is always something going on and not enough time in my day to fit a 1/4 of a works day into. I thought my whole life was already mapped in front of me like directions on how to put your easy to assemble Kirby Vacuum that is already 100% workable right out of the box. One day I was approached with the thought of me maybe, hopefully, yearning with all of my heart that I might be pregnant came to my attention. And let me tell you I have had plenty of scares that I might be carrying a baby have happened before but for some reason this time in the back of my mind I was fancying very quietly that I was a soon to be full time mommy! Pee tests..ugh. Who invented those dreadful things? Having to go through the impatient three minutes where I was able to envision myself with a baby and already thinking of how fat I will get and what school will I chose to send my baby to. At the same time halfway going blind looking for the pale pink lines on four pregnancy tests, two doctors tests just to find out I am still not pregnant. I figured, okay its for the best and it wasn't meant to be. Hearing the news about the big negative, my two sisters (both mothers of two), and my mom all congratulated me on the so called exciting news of not being pregnant. A sudden feeling of anger came over me that was very unexpected. Did they think that I wouldn't be a good mom? Was I not ready for a baby in their eyes? They didn't even ask me if I was happy with the results or not. The next couple of days I was trying to realize why their comments were bothering me so much and then it hit me. I was sad that I wasn't pregnant because I wanted to have a baby. I was finally ready to take the plunge and go for the whole nine yards! I was ready to start a family and to follow a new path. So I left the old version behind and headed towards the Kirby 3000 upgrade!  Now all I had to do was convince my boyfriend that its what he wanted as well. I wonder how that will go.